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[timeshares]

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[timeshares]

Of course it's real.

...

[ARE YOU EVEN A MONSTER...]

Show yourself.

[snappingturtle]

The shell it is.

[STEPS INTO THE LIGHT!!1

he is already eating a slice of pizza]

[timeshares]

[That was...........



not........... what he was expecting........


That can't be real.

It has to be the Mist causing him to see something disarming. Something he'd WANT to see rather than whatever horror actually is lumbering towards him.

Like his favorite ninja turtle...]

You're kidding me.

[snappingturtle]

No joke. Why do you think we live all the way down here?

[timeshares]

... Radioactive ooze?

Rat mentor figure?

[snappingturtle]

[frowns sharply, guard snapping right up]

How do you know Splinter?

[timeshares]

[Bingo. This is TOTALLY not real.

I'm probably going to get eaten.



This is so worth it.]

...

You could say I have my sources.

[snappingturtle]

What sources? Spill it!

[shifting a hand towards his sais >(]

[timeshares]

[The tip of Luke's odd, two-toned sword lifts, almost as a casual response.]

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

[His free hand lifts, palm up and spreading wide.]

Besides, I'm just looking for a place, then I'll get right back to where I was going.

[A glance at the pizza boxes.]

With those.

[snappingturtle]

You know Splinter and expect me to believe you just wandered in here by mistake? And you still owe us for the punching bag you ruined.

[steps in front of the pizza boxes!11]

[timeshares]

[It. It's so hard to remember this is probably a monster. Not, you know, the best duel he might ever have.]

I'll swear it on the Styx if you want me to.

[He paces, lightly, circling a bit.]

[snappingturtle]

Why would I care about swearing on sticks?

[timeshares]

The river. Breaking oaths on it bring about a fate worse than death.

... Are you seriously going to tell me you don't know that?

[Playing games was one thing but... there shouldn't BE a monster that didn't know the rules of the Underworld.]

[snappingturtle]

Of course I don't! Who ever heard of a stupid river like that? It sounds like some nerd junk out of Don's nerd books.

[timeshares]

[The intruder.... laughs. It's not the kind of laugh with any edge of humor.]

You know what? You're totally right. It IS pretty stupid.

[Another step to the side, sword ready, eying the boxes.]

Of course, who'd believe in ninja turtles, either.

[snappingturtle]

[settles his hand on his sai]

You're lookin' right at me! What's not to believe?

[timeshares]

Good question.

[Luke makes for the pizza boxes... and instead slashes out at Raph. The movements, unlike the lazy cuts earlier, have the mark of a master swordsman, all business and efficiency, wielding the blade like an extension of his arm..


...


The strange thing is the strike is deliberately over Raph's head... as if he was expecting some unseen mass to be there.]

[snappingturtle]

[Raph only just starts to dodge, stopping when he realizes Luke's missing on . . . purpose??

But that confusion doesn't stop him from slamming a fist into Luke's gut]

[timeshares]

[HOLY SHIT IS THIS REALLY ACTUALLY A NINJA TURTLE AN-

OW.


Luke goes down hard, but doesn't stay there. He rolls into a crouch, folded over his stomach.]

Seriously?

[snappingturtle]

What the shell are you talkin' about?!

[timeshares]

[He doesn't answer. But his expression when he gets up is bright, engaged, eager. He almost looks younger.]

Let's try this properly.

[snappingturtle]

[Raph still looks less than thrilled about this, and a lot confused]

Were we not a minute ago?

[timeshares]

Okay, okay. If you were just a regular monster, I would have killed you a couple seconds ago.


[He's .. cheerful about that. The grin is cheeky.]


But you're the real deal, Raphael.

I want a match. Doesn't have to go far.

[snappingturtle]

Just . . . a sparring match? That's seriously it?

[timeshares]

What? Want more than that?

Tell you what, winner takes all.

[He gestures towards the pizza boxes with a casual wave of his sword.]