There was something soft in Chiron's expression that made me wonder if, despite my best attempts, he had overheard the whole conversation anyway.
If he did, he didn't make any mention of it.
When I got close, his expression quickly turned serious as glanced from me to the doors of the Big House. "You know where to find her."
I shifted from one foot to the other, restless.
"Soooo.... is there anything I should do?" I've seen other hopeful quest leaders enter before... and all but one come out. No one really talks about that. No one ever talks about the way the gods are cruel. "This is a first time for me."
"When she chooses to speak to you, listen... and listen carefully. The exact words are of the utmost importance." Chiron looked at me, and so this is going to sound crazy and so what if it is. But sometimes there's this look he gives me that makes me feel like he knows more about me than I do. And whatever he knows, it is the sort of thing that keeps him up at night. He was giving me THAT look right then. I hate that look. "Brace yourself. This may well be your first trial."
"Thanks." I said, dryly. Chiron didn't answer my jittery sarcasm. He just stepped back to let me pass.
There's four flights of stairs to get up to the attic, where the Oracle was kept. 48 steps. I counted. I don't know why. It gave me something to focus on, maybe.
... I keep racking my brain for details, but the honest truth is I don't remember a lot of what's in the attic. Stuff. There was a lot of stuff. It smelled. I remember that.
But I remember her.
She was propped up on a stool in the back of the room... Shrivelled, to the point of being mummified, her skin had shrunk over all of her bones, and she sat, curled up on herself, like someone had let a hippy die and rot up here.
Green mist started to pour out of her mouth.. her eyes... what had just been small slits opened, bright green and-
I'd like to say that I stood there, battling my fear, and remained strong and stoic in the face of it.
But I lost it. I just completely lost it. Even now, my hand's shaking and it's hard to write.
Her eyes were just like my mother's when she'd have her fits. Her voice was just like my mother's when she'd stagger down the halls, looking for my hiding place wailing that I was in danger or maybe that I was danger.
I couldn't take it. I tried to get out, but the trap door was shut like the ocean was on the other side of it. I was panicked, I wasn't thinking right, so the Mist really got to me more than it should have.
All around, I could make out shapes and voices in the mist. My mother's broken, wailing. Poor Luke. My poor baby. Not him! Please Hermes help him! I felt her fingers dig into me like iron, bruising my shoulders the way it always did when she caught me like that. I saw the terror on Halcyon Green's face as he read my fortune. Thalia yelling that I would never betray anyone. Zoe casting her judgement on me, that I would let her down.
There was no way out. Closing my eyes didn't help. Covering my ears didn't help. Without anything else to do, I screamed at it all to shut up.
The room went silent. I don't know why it listened, but it did. Cautiously, I lifted my head and opened my eyes.
The mist still coiled around my legs, filling the room, and the glowing green eyes stared at me calmly from the mummy's face.
Clearly, in my head I heard her voice: I am the spirit of Delphi, speaker of the prophecies of Phoebus Apollo, slayer of the mighty Python. Approach, seeker, and ask.
I wanted to ask about my fate. I wanted to ask about the destiny that everyone but me seemed to know. I remembered the text Halcyon had typed into his computer: "Sometimes the future really is better left a mystery."
I was rattled; I ended up asking about the quest.
For a moment, in the mist, I saw my mother... the way she looked in photographs. Confident, self assured, with a wicked glint in her eyes and a ready smile. She spoke:
You will go west to find the twilight gate. And battle the mother, cursed in fate.
Halcyon stood before me then, his face was twisted in concern and regret. His voice came from the Leucrotae beside him, as if he'd never found any freedom from his curse.
From the captured shell and magic strings, You will take the song the children sings.
Finally, and... worst of all, Thalia stood in front of me, her expression severe... but not unkind. She looked at me expectantly.
Should then you question your given part, You will find an empty hand and heavy heart.
Then it was over.
I don't remember leaving the attic. I kind of remember sitting on the stairs just under it. I don't remember what I was thinking or what I did. I don't think I did anything. I stayed there a really long time.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
THE PAST TELLS ME ABOUT MY FUTURE
If he did, he didn't make any mention of it.
When I got close, his expression quickly turned serious as glanced from me to the doors of the Big House. "You know where to find her."
I shifted from one foot to the other, restless.
"Soooo.... is there anything I should do?" I've seen other hopeful quest leaders enter before... and all but one come out. No one really talks about that. No one ever talks about the way the gods are cruel. "This is a first time for me."
"When she chooses to speak to you, listen... and listen carefully. The exact words are of the utmost importance." Chiron looked at me, and so this is going to sound crazy and so what if it is. But sometimes there's this look he gives me that makes me feel like he knows more about me than I do. And whatever he knows, it is the sort of thing that keeps him up at night. He was giving me THAT look right then. I hate that look. "Brace yourself. This may well be your first trial."
"Thanks." I said, dryly. Chiron didn't answer my jittery sarcasm. He just stepped back to let me pass.
There's four flights of stairs to get up to the attic, where the Oracle was kept. 48 steps. I counted. I don't know why. It gave me something to focus on, maybe.
... I keep racking my brain for details, but the honest truth is I don't remember a lot of what's in the attic. Stuff. There was a lot of stuff. It smelled. I remember that.
But I remember her.
She was propped up on a stool in the back of the room... Shrivelled, to the point of being mummified, her skin had shrunk over all of her bones, and she sat, curled up on herself, like someone had let a hippy die and rot up here.
Green mist started to pour out of her mouth.. her eyes... what had just been small slits opened, bright green and-
I'd like to say that I stood there, battling my fear, and remained strong and stoic in the face of it.
But I lost it. I just completely lost it. Even now, my hand's shaking and it's hard to write.
Her eyes were just like my mother's when she'd have her fits. Her voice was just like my mother's when she'd stagger down the halls, looking for my hiding place wailing that I was in danger or maybe that I was danger.
I couldn't take it. I tried to get out, but the trap door was shut like the ocean was on the other side of it. I was panicked, I wasn't thinking right, so the Mist really got to me more than it should have.
All around, I could make out shapes and voices in the mist. My mother's broken, wailing. Poor Luke. My poor baby. Not him! Please Hermes help him! I felt her fingers dig into me like iron, bruising my shoulders the way it always did when she caught me like that. I saw the terror on Halcyon Green's face as he read my fortune. Thalia yelling that I would never betray anyone. Zoe casting her judgement on me, that I would let her down.
There was no way out. Closing my eyes didn't help. Covering my ears didn't help. Without anything else to do, I screamed at it all to shut up.
The room went silent. I don't know why it listened, but it did. Cautiously, I lifted my head and opened my eyes.
The mist still coiled around my legs, filling the room, and the glowing green eyes stared at me calmly from the mummy's face.
Clearly, in my head I heard her voice: I am the spirit of Delphi, speaker of the prophecies of Phoebus Apollo, slayer of the mighty Python. Approach, seeker, and ask.
I wanted to ask about my fate. I wanted to ask about the destiny that everyone but me seemed to know. I remembered the text Halcyon had typed into his computer: "Sometimes the future really is better left a mystery."
I was rattled; I ended up asking about the quest.
For a moment, in the mist, I saw my mother... the way she looked in photographs. Confident, self assured, with a wicked glint in her eyes and a ready smile. She spoke:
And battle the mother, cursed in fate.
Halcyon stood before me then, his face was twisted in concern and regret. His voice came from the Leucrotae beside him, as if he'd never found any freedom from his curse.
You will take the song the children sings.
Finally, and... worst of all, Thalia stood in front of me, her expression severe... but not unkind. She looked at me expectantly.
You will find an empty hand and heavy heart.
Then it was over.
I don't remember leaving the attic. I kind of remember sitting on the stairs just under it. I don't remember what I was thinking or what I did. I don't think I did anything. I stayed there a really long time.