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[timeshares]

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[snappingturtle]

Oi, who're you callin' a monster? You got some nerve for a trespasser!

[timeshares]

So says the thief in the shadows, pardon me if the insult doesn't strike home.

[His posture seems loose and ready, searching the shadows for an opponent to strike.]

[snappingturtle]

[circling around the room, trying to stay out of sight as he does. Luke might catch a flash of movement here or there when he changes positions]

It's a pizza tax for stomping into our home.

[timeshares]

I didn't see a posting.

[Not that he could have, you know, read it. But hey.]

[One breath, and he slashes in a tight, fast arc to where he thinks the thief is. The kid is fast.]

[snappingturtle]

[well there goes our punching bag]

Hey! Do you know how long it took us to get that down here?!

[timeshares]

I'm sure the next one will be faster now that you know how.

Do you know how many hungry mouths I have to feed?

A dragon with at least ten, at this point.

[snappingturtle]

Ha ha, very funny.

[timeshares]

Ha ha yeah. I'm not kidding.

[snappingturtle]

Isn't it a hydra if it's got that many?

[timeshares]

[There's a tone to his voice of a "Are you fucking with me?" all the way through it.]

The hydra is a serpent.

[As if it explained everything.]

[snappingturtle]

It's not even real!

[timeshares]

Of course it's real.

...

[ARE YOU EVEN A MONSTER...]

Show yourself.

[snappingturtle]

The shell it is.

[STEPS INTO THE LIGHT!!1

he is already eating a slice of pizza]

[timeshares]

[That was...........



not........... what he was expecting........


That can't be real.

It has to be the Mist causing him to see something disarming. Something he'd WANT to see rather than whatever horror actually is lumbering towards him.

Like his favorite ninja turtle...]

You're kidding me.

[snappingturtle]

No joke. Why do you think we live all the way down here?

[timeshares]

... Radioactive ooze?

Rat mentor figure?

[snappingturtle]

[frowns sharply, guard snapping right up]

How do you know Splinter?

[timeshares]

[Bingo. This is TOTALLY not real.

I'm probably going to get eaten.



This is so worth it.]

...

You could say I have my sources.

[snappingturtle]

What sources? Spill it!

[shifting a hand towards his sais >(]

[timeshares]

[The tip of Luke's odd, two-toned sword lifts, almost as a casual response.]

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

[His free hand lifts, palm up and spreading wide.]

Besides, I'm just looking for a place, then I'll get right back to where I was going.

[A glance at the pizza boxes.]

With those.

[snappingturtle]

You know Splinter and expect me to believe you just wandered in here by mistake? And you still owe us for the punching bag you ruined.

[steps in front of the pizza boxes!11]

[timeshares]

[It. It's so hard to remember this is probably a monster. Not, you know, the best duel he might ever have.]

I'll swear it on the Styx if you want me to.

[He paces, lightly, circling a bit.]

[snappingturtle]

Why would I care about swearing on sticks?

[timeshares]

The river. Breaking oaths on it bring about a fate worse than death.

... Are you seriously going to tell me you don't know that?

[Playing games was one thing but... there shouldn't BE a monster that didn't know the rules of the Underworld.]

[snappingturtle]

Of course I don't! Who ever heard of a stupid river like that? It sounds like some nerd junk out of Don's nerd books.